It Was Just A Mistake

Todays post may not be applicable to all demographics (yes, the seven of you represent different demographics :), so bear with me if you've "been there, done that, and have the T-Shirt." Refreshers for seasoned veterans are always a boon.

Mom and I watched a string of Hallmark Christmas movies until my schmaltz cup runneth over. In one particular plot, an errant husband, returning home after many years to announce is upcoming Bahama nuptials to his children, suffers a heart-attack. Grounded until his health improves, he lives with his current wife and family during the holidays. You can probably type the rest of the script out yourself, but the thing that leapt out of the TV was his continual reference to his sins as "mistakes." A penchant for stewardesses, not contacting his children for years, and leaving the family in a pool of heartbreak - a "mistake."  Hmmm.

Here is The Oxford dictionary's definitions of a mistake:

• to be wrong about: she thought he'd mistaken her for Diana
• accidentally; in error: she'd left her purse at home by mistake
• an act or judgement that is misguided or wrong: coming here was a mistake 

So, he mistook a stewardess for his wife? Wait, he forgot to go home. No, let's see....he took a wrong turn at the light and left his family by mistake. Now I'm all confused.....

After that night, I thought of all the times that I've heard others (or myself) refer to sin, often grievous ones, as a "mistake."  Interestingly, when we sin it's easier to think of it as a mistake, but when others do so - it's clearly sin. I was reminded of the aftermath of destruction that my kids' dad left behind, all the while claiming he had just made a few mistakes.

Mistakes and sins are not synonymous. The year my son passed, I did my own taxes. I forgot one line item, because I tucked some stub in some box that arrived shortly after, and that error cost me $2,500! I had to make $50/month payments until the fine was paid off. I was living in a fog and should not have attempted to do my own taxes. It was a (HUGE) mistake, but not a sin. The following is Oxford's definition of sin:

• commit a sin: I sinned and brought shame down on us;Lord, we have sinned against you
• an immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law: a sin in the eyes of God 
• an act regarded as a serious or regrettable fault, offense, or omission 

I did not act immorally, lie to anyone, or transgress against God's law.  And, I never did my own taxes again.  I consider $300.00 a bargain to ensure I never have to deal with the IRS ever again. Oy, the stress!

I believed that blogging about the distinction between these words could be helpful, but was confused the next morning when God directed my reading to Jeremiah.  My first thought was, "Really? I was sure I was supposed to write about "mistakes v. sins."  I dutifully read, and when I hit chapter seven, I thought, "Ah, now I get it." In this chapter, Jeremiah is speaking to those of us who attend church to worship the Lord, but because our hearts are hardened to sin, we "are trusting in deceptive words that are worthless" (v.8). Trusting in sanitized preaching that doesn't convict us of sin or encourage repentance - worthless. Moreover, we wrongly feel "safe" by virtue of attending church (v.10), regardless our disobedience and sin.  Hollywood used to poke fun at the Catholics when the story line included mobsters diligently attending mass - but, I think most denominations struggle with deceived members who believe their church attendance, offerings, and works negate the need to repent from sin.

In a past post, I wrote that in serving God we are in a constant state of motion, and Jeremiah 7:24 explains what operates this movement: (We) did not listen or pay attention (to God's commands); instead, (we) followed the stubborn inclinations of (our) evil hearts. (We) went backward and not forward. Thus, obedience in God's commands causes us to move forward. I suggest that rewording our "sins" and referring to them as "mistakes" deceives us of our need to repent, resulting in a backward motion - or backsliding. After all, the word "sin" is so harsh, a little ugly, and kind of embarrassing.

Jeremiah 15:19 quotes the Lord saying, "If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman." Worthless words. Is disobedience a mistake? Can we "accidentally" disobey? Then"I love you, Lord" might be considered a worthless word. WHAT!? "If you love me you will keep my commandments," is a statement that occurs multiple times in the Bible - but if we aren't keeping His commandments, they are worthless words. In Jeremiah 7 we are admonished to change from our sinful ways otherwise we lose out on God's mercy (Proverbs 28:12-14). Solomon warns us of God's consequences when we utter meaningless words and break our vows claiming they were just a mistake (Ecclesiastes 5:4-7).

All of us have sinned (Romans 3:23) and "if we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us" (I John 1:8).  How can God forgive, deliver and cleanse us from sin if we won't confess it as such, but rather a mistake? Concealing sins prevents us from prospering but confession and renouncing them grants us mercy (Proverbs 28:13).

So, let's "confess our sins, (for) he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (I John 1:9). Do you rage at your family, and blame it on a hard day at the office? Sin. Do you secretly purchase items outside your budget, and then lie to your spouse how much you spend? After all, he did just get a pair of new shoes, don't you deserve some, too? Sin. Do you gossip about other families' problems with your friends, so that you can "pray for them?" Sin. Not mistakes, just slithery traps laid by our enemy who wants to separate us from God.

The prescription for Mistakeeitis? I realize that not all churches lend themselves to preaching worthy words, but you can read your Bible daily, pray, and repent when God opens your eyes to a particular sin. I saw on Facebook a blurb about Dr. Grant Horner's Bible Reading Plan. It's a big commitment, 10 chapters a day, and the interweaving strategy claims to offer "broad-scale contextualizing across both testaments," variety and consistent conviction. The following Chart can be tucked in your Bible to make it easier to track your daily reading. That's my plan for 2012. I don't want to be deceived about my words or behavior.  I want a more intimate relationship with the Lord, to commune with Him daily and be FREE from my besetting sins!

It's a Wonderful LIfe

As expected, Christmas with my four was wonderful. I marvel at how my children grew into such fantastic adults. A true testimony to the power of prayer and a God in heaven. And, after reading a sunshiny Christian blog, and being privy to other Christians' charmed holiday lives, I had planned my next post to be chocked full of lighthearted anecdotes so my few readers would realize that the "100 Fold" Christian life can also be fun, but......

It started with the drive back home. I cried, mourning for the life that I am not able to give my kids, especially during the holidays. Celebrating in a home filled with childhood memories, familiar surroundings, and a complete family. This is not self-pity, it's one of my crosses that I bear. I waffle between dutifully trudging forward with the cross squarely placed on my shoulder to falling on my knees begging God to have mercy on me. Yes, I know, "God is faithful; he will not let (me) be tempted beyond what (I) can bear. But when (I am) tempted, he will also provide a way out so that (I) can endure it" (I Corinthians 10:13). I have witnessed what happens to those who break out of their prison and escape God's call - some completely backslide, and others live a tidier life, but cheat themselves out of eternal rewards (Revelation 2:10).

The day after I arrived home from our Christmas celebration, the doctor called. Diabetes. How can a 120ish pound, non-smoker, non-drinker, and in fairly good shape, be a diabetic? I was astonished. The only "symptom" I was even aware of was mysterious weight-loss (I thought it was from working so hard). During my 20 years of gym membership, my son once asked, "Why do you bother exercising?" I responded by saying, "So I can take my grandchildren bike riding!" I wanted to be a healthy old lady! This news arrives on the tail of the back diagnosis - which I still haven't mentally processed and can't treat until 2012 (poor insurance plan and not enough "out of pocket" $ to start therapy). My first thought was, "My life is over, what more is left?" God has me completely boxed in. A day or two later, I was reminded (as always comes to my mind during times like this) of my most earnest prayer that I prayed throughout the past 20+ years, "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead" (Philippians 3:10,11). I ASKED to share in his sufferings. My hopes and dreams often clash with this prayer, but because I want God's will above my own, I wish I could be like the Apostle Paul, who is an inspiration; having faith in the eternal glory that far outweighs any of my sufferings, the ability to not lose heart, to consider all of my troubles as "light and momentary," and to fix my eyes on the unseen (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

Today I was reading in Zephaniah, and for the umpteenth time I believe God was telling me that He will restore my fortune (3:20). God has not only impressed this theme upon me in prayer and Bible reading, but someone also prophesied it to me. My struggle today was, "I hear you, Lord, but can you tell me if it will be in 'the land of the living (Psalm 27:13) or an eternal reward?" If the latter, I need help to "fix my eyes on the unseen." When I hear fortune, I don't necessarily believe it's monetary, although, it could be, but possibly a richer quality of life. What that includes, I'm not sure, but I'm leaning toward a "suffer-free" life :)  A year or so ago, a Christian friend told me, after praying for me, that my 15-year duration of "suffering" was over, hmmmm....

Many Christians have health problems, but not typically bundled in the Complete 100-Fold Christian Value Pack. No one I work with has any idea of what my real life has been like, and I believe I would be doing God a disservice if I portrayed my life negatively. I want people to see the over-comer, the positive, and the good that has resulted. Last Thursday, my coworker, C., marveled at the patience I had with some of our kookier customers. Thirty five years ago patience was not part of my personality.  I know that at times it's helpful to share our "testimony," but for the most part, we are to be like Jesus in shoe-leather. I rejoice that I am not the same person I was: selfish, unforgiving, not facing reality, to name a few more.

I no longer do New Year's Resolutions (if you've read any of the previous posts, I'm sure you can understand why). As 2011 comes to a close, my prayer is that I may readily accept God's will for my life, lean on Him more, and have greater faith. I'd like to experience some miracles, too. It would be nice to meet some Fellow-Folders, but I'm not sure how one goes about finding them. This post is not a puff-piece that's a light read around the holidays, stirring up warm, fuzzy feelings, but my hope is that by reading, you'll receive the same comfort that I have received from God (2 Corinthians 1:4). So when you see your Christian neighbor skating through, you won't be surprised that, even if you're serving God with all your heart, trying experiences continue to come your way.  Additionally, a reminder that sharing in Christ's suffering will produce perseverance, character, hope and a share in his glory (Romans 5:3, 8:17). Now that's a wonderful life.

Merry Christmas - may we focus on Christ every single day of 2012.

Striking the Ground With Arrows

As a child, I would lay in bed praying 'til all hours of the night.  I remember when I was about seven or eight (my parents never did teach me the "Birds and the Bees" :) I prayed to God for a baby. I had no clue where the baby was going to come from. During my adult life, I attended prayer groups, daily pray at home and "journal" while praying.  Journalling (I type rather than write) is a way of praying that facilitates hearing from God while you pray.

All this to say, I had quite an active prayer life. Additionally, I have what the Bible calls discernment, and what our denomination refers to as the gift of intercessory prayer. I Corinthians 2:14 speaks of discernment as a spiritual ability to discern things one can only see through the Spirit of God. Discernment is like this: Often I can tell if a person is lying and "see" what's in a person's heart - even if the person is in deception. Or I can "see" lust in eyes, sense evil spirits, and "hear" what a person is really saying, even when it's different from the words coming out of their mouth. It took a lot of growth and maturity to manage this gift, and it's from God, not some kind of voodoo magic. I had to train myself to respond/react to the words they were speaking - not to what I was hearing/seeing. The gift of intercessory prayer is praying on behalf of someone or something, and God responding in a powerful way. Combining these two "gifts" enabled me to pray quite accurately for people and situations and marvel at God's responses.

I took great care not to pray my own will, most of the time. When my son died, I prayed that God would let a drunk driver run into me (they always walk away unhurt), but, you can see how that turned out. l ask God if I should pray about a prayer request - before I pray - if I pray. As the tragedies of my life increased, so did my prayers, but then so did the tragedies. Once I relinquished my will over to God, I kinda figured, "What's left to pray about?" If we believe, "Not my will but Thine be done," that pretty much covers it. Yet, there are multiple scriptures admonishing us to pray continually (I Thessalonians 5:17 for example) - but about what? How? A prayer conundrum.

For a while, after my son passed, I wasn't able to intercede. I was hurt that God wasn't answering prayers (my way) and the years that followed were horrendous. The things that God allowed to happen were beyond comprehension. I prayed, but with a slowly withering faith. How could this be happening if He loved me - even though I Peter 4:12 tells me, "don't be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you test you, as though something strange were happening to you"  One has only to read the New Testament to see how Jesus' followers suffered endless persecution, trials, sufferings, beatings, hunger, and more (2 Corinthians 6, just to name a few). Somehow my brain synopses weren't connecting those dots (and I don't even come close to "apostle" suffering).

God has floated my boat (see "Current" post), miraculously, to the middle of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs - I lived at the base of the pyramid for so long, there was not much time to do anything else but survive. My emaciated prayer life is returning: first was clear liquids ("Help me make it through the day"); then soup and crackers (Grant me the ability to do your will in everything); now, slowly entering back in to intercessory prayer. I was persevering, but not hoping (Romans 5:5) nor rejoicing (I Peter 4:13) through my suffering. I believe that "The God of all grace, who called (me) to his eternal glory in Christ, after (I) have suffered a little while, will himself restore (me) and make (me) strong, firm and steadfast" (I Peter 5:10).

Though I have a degree, and much business experience, God has me working in a big box store, shlepping paint buckets. A few of my co-workers have made it their life's mission to continually spread untrue rumors about me. They passive-aggressively make my work load double (they often disappear, forcing me complete their tasks, too). I have a protruding disc and arthritis in my back, so every day is about pain management,  trying to be a good testimony in spite of the slights, and having new mercies daily for them like God has for me (Lamentations 3:23).  I fail, a lot. Sometime I cry (in private) or snap back, but I have ample opportunity to practice forgiveness and humility (apologizing when I snap, well, most of the time).  I report only the blatant stuff, because I was sent to supervisory "school" and am currently awaiting an opening in any of the nearby stores for a promotion. Whiners don't get promoted. Of course, I have applied at other corporations - to save my back from further damage, but also to get back into the professional world and out of the daycare.

I woke up the other morning, was reading my Bible and began to pray about my job situation. I asked God, again, to open other doors for me, as "What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open" (Revelation 3:7). But this time, I was reminded of Jehoash in 2 Kings 13. He went to Elisha's deathbed seeking help from God, and when instructed to strike the ground with arrows,  he limited his battle victories by striking only three times. So, I just didn't pray for a new job, but one that will be a delight, not a long commute, staffed with kind coworkers, provide enough money to support my family properly, offer health insurance, and consist of a combination of sitting and walking that won't further damage my back. I know the job is out there, but I also know God puts us in situations to bring out the sin luxuriating in our hearts. Every day I assure Him that I've learned all my lessons, but thus far, He hasn't agreed with me :).

If you've read any of the other posts, you know God's will and mine almost never match up. I'll continue to pray about the job, and other issues, but, as always, I'll wait and see/hear what God has in mind. Psalm 84:10 is another one of my watchwords, "Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked." He knows that I want His will more than mine, so if it means not getting my dream job, OK, but I'll continue to pray for a better job, ask for help learning all my lessons, and repent from the dross that is purged daily from working with God's surgical tools :).

Pre-Christmas Mind Set

I am one of those people who loves Christmas. I love spending time with my kids, choosing special gifts for them, and seeing how surprised they are when they open them up. Before I became a gypsy (a woman with no home of her own), I lavishly decorated the inside of my house every year. The kids helped by making snowflakes to tape on the windows and paper chains to drape throughout the family room. We baked 100's of traditional cookies to share and to eat. But over the last, well, I'm losing track of how many years, God is testing my love and faithfulness to Him, "The Lord gave and Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised" (Job 1:21). My dreams, hopes, and plans have become very flexible. When I hear the song "Blessed be your name" by Matt Redman, I am reminded that regardless of how much I have lost, I am still blessed.

When my kids were tiny, I wanted Christmas to really focus on Christ's birth, and not just the traditions (some from pagan origins) and commercialism. One year, I simply set up a nativity set that my Mom made 40 years ago, and we didn't put up a tree. I can't remember the details, but some sources claim the introduction of the tree had nothing to do with Christ, some do. I collected, and still have, Christmas books that I put in a large basket and we would read them throughout the month, including Good King Wenceslas, and other non-traditional books. I also made it clear that there was no Santa Claus, but that we could pretend that there was, like a Disney Land character, to make it fun. I remember in the 3rd grade, waking up in the middle of the night hearing my parents taking boxes of toys downstairs to put under the tree - I was devastated upon realizing that there was no Santa, that they had lied. I didn't want my children to deduce, "Well, she lied about Santa, what else is she lying about?" Seems trivial, but mistrust usually starts with small lies.

During December we would attend several Christmas events. "The Walk Through Bethlehem," was a favorite. The Methodists would convert their entire courtyard into a replica of Bethlehem, including live animals. We would be given "Passports" (as we were there for the "census") which the Roman guards would demand to see, sample foods from the various booths, visit a Temple where the Rabbis were discussing the prophecy of Christ's birth, and finally, end up at a barn where a couple would be holding a tiny, live baby. Afterwards, the kids would munch on cookies and hot chocolate inside the church. The first year we attended without my boy was very difficult. We fondly remembered when the Hebrew match-maker (he totally stayed in character), asked my son and his friend if they were in town to find wives, and described potential prospects - I think they were about 12 at the time, a little embarrassed, but thought it hilarious.

I'd pile my kids and a few extra into the van and we would go through a drive-thru live nativity. We were so sad when the Baptists no longer presented it, but I'm sure it was  difficult to find the man-power and hours to put on such extravagant presentation. There's a section in one community called "Storybook Lane" and every house in the subdivision decorates - lavishly. That was so much fun, and chatting with the homeowners was always interesting. We attended a few professional performances of the Nutcracker, but that wasn't a big hit, nor was the County Fair ground's light display - that we did only once.

When we "lost our fortune," Christmas became very frugal. One dear family (still don't know who it was), sent us a box of food! I felt so blessed. Here's a cool story. I didn't have much money for gifts, so I purchased them from antique stores. I could buy jewelry, clothes, cookware, books, etc. for a fraction of the retail price. The kids were so thrilled to have "retro" and "vintage" stuff, that they have continued the tradition of antique gift-giving. God is so awesome. This year, having lots of unexpected bills, about 3/4's of the kids presents are from antique stores. It takes some hunting, but I think they'll be surprised (well, maybe not my son-in-law; he comes from a Macy's gift-giving family, but he is a kind and loving Christian man, so I'm sure he'll be gracious when he opens his set of eight original Star Wars drinking glasses).

As far as Christian significance, Easter has a much stronger hold on my heart. The sacrifices that Christ made during his life, and dying a horrendous death, so that I could be grafted into his family brings me to tears. But Christmas, an opportunity to celebrate the birth of God's son on earth, is such a joyous occasion. So, Fellow Folders, this is what I'd like to say to you in preparation for the holiday:

1. Anything that takes away from a time of great fellowship - cut it out. My girls were going to drive down last weekend to decorate my Mom's house, 'cause that's how our family rolls. She was almost angry about it, so I prayed. My family is number one, and since we have to celebrate Christmas early, due to out of town guests, we will do the big dinner and open presents up at my daughters' house, which is fully decorated (which means hauling up my presents and drive two hours). My Mom won't be there, but that was her choice, unlike us, she doesn't like Christmas. I'll make a another dinner on Christmas Day for my Mom. Be flexible.

2. Don't go into debt for gifts. It's not worth it. I know you've heard that before, but it's true. Stressing out about gifts, money, and getting everything done also makes for a terrible testimony to shopkeepers, family, and friends.

3. Treat your relatives like it will be the last time you'll see them - because it might be.

4. Jesus doesn't care only about Christmas, it's our thing. He wants us to worship and remember him, and why he came, 365 days a year. 

5. Enjoy your traditions or time together, even if it means doing nothing, or at most, watching, "It's a Wonderful Life." Expectations are the number one killer of holidays, get-togethers, and quality fellowship. Don't expect family/friends/church people to respond to a script you've put together in your head, 'cause they never will. Look for unexpected blessings, and you'll find great joy.

I'm sure after we celebrate our early Christmas, I'll have some awesome stories to tell. My family is so blessed, I never know what to expect :)

It seems a little early to wish you a Merry Christmas, especially since I'll probably post again before the 24th, so I'll say, "Merry Pre-Christmas Mind-Set." Love the Lord with all your heart and dwell on the blessings that He's given you - not what you don't have or can't afford.

What's Our Testimony?

On my nightstand is a business card from a local pastor. I work at a big box hardware store, and last week he came in to order two quarts of paint, color matched from some old cans that were left in the garage of his rental. New in the area and here for a church "plant" (new church), we had a great chat, so much so, I wrote down my Pastor's website and encouraged him to visit, guaranteeing that the sermons would be encouraging.

Today, he brought back the two cans of paint to my supervisor (I was conducting a workshop). He was very rude to her, demanding new paint because the colors didn't match the colors on his wall (keep in mind, the customer approves the color BEFORE leaving the store with the paint). He didn't have the original cans of paint, so she asked him to go home and get actual samples from his wall. When he returned, I happened to be back at the desk. He had two different brands of paint. I never mix paint in different brands - the customer is asked which brand he wants, and the entire order is made in that brand. I opened the one can, and it was NOT the color of the sample from his wall. I'm still not sure if he swapped labels, or emptied out the contents and replaced it, or incorrectly assumed the can in the garage was the correct color, but having done this for two years, I know my tints.

Before I realized that he was trying to steal, I was asking him questions trying to figure out why this paint was so different from the sample. Finally I asked him, "Was the can you brought in left behind by the owner?" He said, "Yes." He did not tell me that up front. It's possible that he thought the can was for the living room, brought it in for me to match, then realized that he had messed up (or poured another color of paint into the can he brought back, so he could touch up another room for free). Later, he inadvertently told another customer in line that the previous renters had tried to touch up and there were spots on the wall from contrasting colors. He knew that the paint didn't match before he came in.

So, this "man of God," came in to the store, had a huge fit and lied to my boss about my error, lied about the paint being incorrectly matched by me, ALL FOR $11.00, so he could touch up his living room or have free paint for another room. Toward the end of our second encounter, he knew he was caught. The paint was so obviously different. Later, my supervisor told me that his whole demeanor was different when he saw I was present during the second visit. After I fixed his colors, I went on break and felt nauseous and sick. Jesus had some things to say in the New Testament about Pastors being hypocritical:

"You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence (Matthew 23:25).  

"You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean (Matthew 23:27).

"Woe to you experts in the law, because you have taken away the key to knowledge. You yourselves have not entered and you have hindered those who were entering (Luke 11:52). 

I prayed that God would not let him be a Pastor in this condition, because the eternal penalty for leading sheep astray is so severe: ...so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected (2 Timothy 3:8). I also prayed that God would burn his heart with repentance, but that if it was already hardened, that He would prevent him from ministering, as those that do are judged more strictly (James 3:1).

His website states, "We continually bear witness to those around us...we exalt the Lord through our service to Him, seeking to be instruments of His will and purpose." The witness he portrayed to my coworkers (ranging from unsaved, backslidden, to Christian) was one of bad temper, lies, greed, and a derogatory word spoken by the supervisor that I won't print. Psalm 101:7 says that, "No one who practices deceit will dwell in my house; no one who speaks falsely will stand in my presence."


Only God knows the heart and the destiny of this man. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord (Joshua 24:15). I know that my customers, strangers, coworkers, friends, and family members are watching how "real" my Christianity is and that hypocrisy is a deadly testimony. Recently, I was at an antique store Christmas shopping with my handicapped Mom. The cashier accidentally charged my debit card $1100.50!!! I was there for 1 and 1/2 hours, while the clerk tried to call the credit card merchant, bank, and my bank to reverse or void the charges - to no avail. I ended up waiting for the owner to drive over and draft a check, which I then had to drive to his bank and cash, and then deposit the cash into my account. I realized that this was testimony time, and I prayed throughout the ordeal for patience, kindness, and forgiveness. My Mom was so spent, she couldn't go out the next day.

Of course, I fail at times. Mostly when pride or fear is involved.  But the majority of the time when situations force sin out of my heart's hidey-holes, I repent. Oftentimes, I am battling against the same bastion of sin. I wish I could be delivered entirely - BAM, no more dealing with that familiar enemy of my soul. But some sins are like onions, the deliverance peels off in layers. This is why we must persevere, run the race, fight the good fight. Otherwise, if left unchecked, we might find ourselves spending hours concocting lies to receive a free can of $11.00 paint. And worse, with a heart so hardened, we won't realize that our destructive behavior is hindering the building up of the kingdom of God.