The Year of Risk Taking

Day after day I have been waiting for all of my thought-chunks to fall through the blog-topic-sifter, so I could choose the fine, smooth pieces, and wow my readers. It feels like they are stuck together, and I cannot decide what to do. If you have read all my posts, you know I have a tendency  to over-think, and because I am counting on God to make some big changes this year, I shall plow ahead and write without a perfect outline in the spirit of change.

First off, I have taken David Wagner's tip on writing a book review. So many of the Christian offerings are...OK, how do I say this without being critical? I am working on not being critical. They do not contain valuable or fresh information to justify the price tag. Currently, I'm studying many different topics, and it is taking me longer than I thought, BUT, I may have found a great book. In a previous post I wrote about an intercessor's struggle with prayer, and this book offers terrific direction. Being me, I'm taking such copious notes that I feel like Monk trying to take a test. My goal is not only to offer a review, but to learn it well enough to master the material and share with my readers.

Bible School is going well. Unfortunately, the first instructor's voice sounds like he's about to nod off, though I persevere. The first four tests were simplistic, but I am learning a great many things. I put the school on my resume, and was excited to receive a response from a Lutheran based business, and I am awaiting further contact. Application rejection is a familiar death for me, but I spent an entire day reformatting my resume to reflect a more modern and creative look, so my hopes are a little higher. Have you ever wondered how certain people get hired? They may be crabby, slow, or inept, yet they were hired for the job? Talk about a mystery. It always brings these scriptures to mind: Isaiah 22:22, and Revelation 3:7,8.

In keeping with my new risk-taking faith, I wrote to someone what I believed I had discerned through prayer, regarding a person who I was asked to specifically pray for and offer advice. It made me a little sick to my stomach because it was contrary to what my peer "saw," especially when new information trickled in that made me severely doubt myself. This is why I always keep these things to myself, my pride does not want to be made a fool. After praying for about one hour, pleading God to tell me if I was wrong, I heard nothing different. I understand that this is how one "practices" with gifts, and it would actually be beneficial to the person if I discerned correctly, so now it is a waiting game. For years I was part of a prayer group, and collectively we successfully interceded on the behalf of many needy, hurting people. Flying solo causes one to microscopically analyze personal motivations, sins, guilts, and any fleshy interference with prayer. To be quite honest, I really want to be "right," as being wrong will require tremendous spiritual muscle for me to regroup. People seldom remember the multitude of times you prayed spot-on, but surely remember the times you were wrong.  A dear sister in church proclaimed a marriage that was to eventually take place - it didn't, and it's still brought up from time to time. Plus, I believe God is taking me on a cool, new journey and I don't want to be sitting in the side-car with my head hanging down for the first leg of the trip. I might miss something beautiful.

My family was blessed to make friends with a prominent family, both in Christian circles and in the business world. My friend has told me repeatedly that he believed I was to take my story on the road. To work in this milieu, and continue interceding, would require two to three hours of prayer a day.  Public speaking is one of my strengths, but can you imagine how difficult it would be share, without invading my family's privacy? And the level of faith to trust that God would give me the words to say (Matthew 10:19)?  And to offer fresh stuff, not the same old repackaged formulas. Lord, how will this come to pass? If these directives are from you, please grant me the hours and inclination to increase my prayer time.

On a happy note, my family has experienced several miracles in the past several months. My daughter was offered a job, and I did not believe it was the one for her. I asked her to trust me, and walk her application into a place that is more in line with her college major.  Before she left we prayed, and I KNEW and thanked God for giving her the job. You all know that kind of faith/praying. I told her congratulations, and sent her on her way. They said they weren't hiring. Hm, whatever, I told her she had the job. Sure enough, a day later she received the call. God is amazing. PS: Looking forward to the day when I have the same faith in prayer for my own job :)

In keeping with the goal of this blog, I write the above to share with you the reality of a "seasoned" Christian, who does not have all the answers, is not a theologian, but desires to hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." In fact, I pray about this blog because I do not want to waste your time or write idle words, and offer the weak Christian internet writing that is such a turn-off.

Keep you eyes open for my first official book review. I may have to stop reading my e-friends' reviews, as they are so well written, I might end up talking myself out of posting mine.

God is Good - All the Time!

I'd like to start out by saying, "GOD IS GOOD - ALL THE TIME!" No, I didn't get my way recently, finally get that dream job, or fall into tons of money. I just believe He's good. I'm so grateful that He called me from the foundations of the earth and is using my 100-Fold life-style to reveal the many ways He has blessed me and to eek out every unrepentant sin.

My kids and I rented some movies from a Red Box. I don't have the time or inclination to go to movie theaters, so I'm greatly out of the loop when it comes to modern movies. Not steeping in the pot of slowly heated water (the boiled frog anecdote), I was shocked at the nastiness of the plots! I am grateful to God that I am not desensitized to sin so that I wasn't aware of the glop of garbage coming off the screen. I realize that not all modern movies are like this, but how grievous that this is the only "preaching" that many people are hearing. How blessed am I to have received such rich teaching over the past 30 years. 

I have been involved in many formal studies of the Bible, so it "suddenly" seemed obvious that I should enroll in on online Bible school. I have a business background/degree and was convinced that I should use my extensive skills in the business world, but God has shut every door (and window, for my platitude friends :), and though I want God's will, the locks never failed to frustrate me.  I recently purchased a used book by John Maxwell, a famous business writer, and after reading it (and years of prayer), I have decided that I want to work for God. Yes, I realize in a sense that we all work for God through our testimonies, prayers, church work, etc.....but I mean gainfully employed. At this point, I have NO IDEA what that entails, but I want to start preparing. Because you don't know me, you can't appreciate what a huge leap of faith this is for me, even putting it down in writing for others to read. Until the next directive, I'll continue to work at my menial job, being tested and tried, but that makes for a better employee for God, wouldn't you say?

My e-friend, David Wagner, recently hosted a lively debate about idols in the comment section of his blog. It's worth taking the time to read, lots of valuable truths. God is so cool about the way He orchestrates these seemingly happenstance situations. I am free from so many "common" idols that my peers struggle with, but recently was faced with reality that my children are an idol!  After reading David's blog, the Bible CD in my car convicted me "Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me" (Matthew 10:37). Uh oh. I love my kids so much, in fact, my entire goal and prayer for the past 25 years was to be the best Mom possible. I'm so proud of the Christian people they have become, but through all my good works, prayers, and support, I believe I've slipped into idolatry. I laid my hand on the forehead of my one adult child, and confessed. Talk about a tightrope walk. I have no idea how to change, so Lord, please help me to love my children the way you intended, and forgive me for the times I've loved them more than You. 

We recently watched a few "Illuminati" documentaries. Another reason I'm so blessed that God has His hand on me and that I'm part of His team. It's not a conspiracy theory, it's simply a fact that the enemy wants to claim this world as his own (Revelation 12:9). I've never been a "head in the sand" person, and have followed the shenanigans of satan's puppets over many decades, but I take comfort in the fact that the "one who is in (me) is greater than the one who is in the world" (John 4:4). It's creepy to learn of the extreme evil that people will employ to ensure that their power and wealth stay intact. One talented musician, resigned to his lot, sadly said in a 60 Minutes program said, "I made a bargain with the D....a long time ago, I'm holding up my end, to get where I am now, (I made a bargain) with the chief commander of this earth and the world we can't see." God, through Christ, can deliver these bound people anytime, anywhere, if they would only ask. They will still reap to what they have sown while alive, but they can be free from the clutches of satan and not have to spend eternity with him. So sad. So dark. So creepy.

Still battling health problems. It's funny how we woman are: We fret about the weight we put on due to child-bearing, hormones, and aging; but when we become ill, and start becoming skin and bones, we fret about not being able to put on weight. I should probably rename this blog: The Perpetual Conundrum. 

Thanks for tuning in, whoever you may be. Remember, any and all prayers are greatly appreciated. May God bless you for taking the time to read my meanderings, and may you receive comfort from the comfort I myself have received.