Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Year of Risk Taking

Day after day I have been waiting for all of my thought-chunks to fall through the blog-topic-sifter, so I could choose the fine, smooth pieces, and wow my readers. It feels like they are stuck together, and I cannot decide what to do. If you have read all my posts, you know I have a tendency  to over-think, and because I am counting on God to make some big changes this year, I shall plow ahead and write without a perfect outline in the spirit of change.

First off, I have taken David Wagner's tip on writing a book review. So many of the Christian offerings are...OK, how do I say this without being critical? I am working on not being critical. They do not contain valuable or fresh information to justify the price tag. Currently, I'm studying many different topics, and it is taking me longer than I thought, BUT, I may have found a great book. In a previous post I wrote about an intercessor's struggle with prayer, and this book offers terrific direction. Being me, I'm taking such copious notes that I feel like Monk trying to take a test. My goal is not only to offer a review, but to learn it well enough to master the material and share with my readers.

Bible School is going well. Unfortunately, the first instructor's voice sounds like he's about to nod off, though I persevere. The first four tests were simplistic, but I am learning a great many things. I put the school on my resume, and was excited to receive a response from a Lutheran based business, and I am awaiting further contact. Application rejection is a familiar death for me, but I spent an entire day reformatting my resume to reflect a more modern and creative look, so my hopes are a little higher. Have you ever wondered how certain people get hired? They may be crabby, slow, or inept, yet they were hired for the job? Talk about a mystery. It always brings these scriptures to mind: Isaiah 22:22, and Revelation 3:7,8.

In keeping with my new risk-taking faith, I wrote to someone what I believed I had discerned through prayer, regarding a person who I was asked to specifically pray for and offer advice. It made me a little sick to my stomach because it was contrary to what my peer "saw," especially when new information trickled in that made me severely doubt myself. This is why I always keep these things to myself, my pride does not want to be made a fool. After praying for about one hour, pleading God to tell me if I was wrong, I heard nothing different. I understand that this is how one "practices" with gifts, and it would actually be beneficial to the person if I discerned correctly, so now it is a waiting game. For years I was part of a prayer group, and collectively we successfully interceded on the behalf of many needy, hurting people. Flying solo causes one to microscopically analyze personal motivations, sins, guilts, and any fleshy interference with prayer. To be quite honest, I really want to be "right," as being wrong will require tremendous spiritual muscle for me to regroup. People seldom remember the multitude of times you prayed spot-on, but surely remember the times you were wrong.  A dear sister in church proclaimed a marriage that was to eventually take place - it didn't, and it's still brought up from time to time. Plus, I believe God is taking me on a cool, new journey and I don't want to be sitting in the side-car with my head hanging down for the first leg of the trip. I might miss something beautiful.

My family was blessed to make friends with a prominent family, both in Christian circles and in the business world. My friend has told me repeatedly that he believed I was to take my story on the road. To work in this milieu, and continue interceding, would require two to three hours of prayer a day.  Public speaking is one of my strengths, but can you imagine how difficult it would be share, without invading my family's privacy? And the level of faith to trust that God would give me the words to say (Matthew 10:19)?  And to offer fresh stuff, not the same old repackaged formulas. Lord, how will this come to pass? If these directives are from you, please grant me the hours and inclination to increase my prayer time.

On a happy note, my family has experienced several miracles in the past several months. My daughter was offered a job, and I did not believe it was the one for her. I asked her to trust me, and walk her application into a place that is more in line with her college major.  Before she left we prayed, and I KNEW and thanked God for giving her the job. You all know that kind of faith/praying. I told her congratulations, and sent her on her way. They said they weren't hiring. Hm, whatever, I told her she had the job. Sure enough, a day later she received the call. God is amazing. PS: Looking forward to the day when I have the same faith in prayer for my own job :)

In keeping with the goal of this blog, I write the above to share with you the reality of a "seasoned" Christian, who does not have all the answers, is not a theologian, but desires to hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." In fact, I pray about this blog because I do not want to waste your time or write idle words, and offer the weak Christian internet writing that is such a turn-off.

Keep you eyes open for my first official book review. I may have to stop reading my e-friends' reviews, as they are so well written, I might end up talking myself out of posting mine.


  1. I really liked this post. Probably because I've been on a job hunt for 2-3 months now and the stress keeps on mounting and I keep on praying for guidance and provision. I trust that He will provide me with something better than my current situation, and that He'll give it in His time, not mine. Nevertheless, that's no fun...

    I'm intrigued about the book review. I'm a note taker, too.

  2. Dear Logan,
    I agree wholeheartedly with you. Months ago, when I read a post of yours about you not receiving your pay check, I instantly thought, "This man needs a new job!" Easier said then done. I may get paid in a timely fashion, but I, too, have other reasons to leave.

    Let's make a deal....every time you and your wife pray for your job situation, include me; and every time I pray for mine, I'll include you!

    Glad you liked my chunks of thought.

  3. That sounds like a most excellent deal to me. Much appreciated. It's heartening to have brothers & sisters in Jesus uplifting one another. All the best!

  4. Yay, book reviews! Funny, I don't seem to have the patience to sift through the dross, as far as Christian non-fiction... but I can wade through neck-high dross when it comes to fantasy novels... I guess I need the Christian non-fic worse than I thought!

    Very cool idea, re: the public speaking. Including family anecdotes without invading privacy is a fine line, I certainly respect that. Dr. Diane just steam-rolled through hers and her family's worlds, but I guess her kids knew about it and were ok with it... but that probably was an exception. Something about relaying first-hand, everyday experience is really powerful, though.

    I'm certainly glad you take your blog seriously, and pray about it, etc... however, I'd read it even if you transcribed the phonebook...

  5. David,

    You're right about the books - the hardest part is getting to chapter three and realizing that I own them.

    I am trying to be open to risk-taking (faith-building). Whether they all happen, or something different, I just want to make myself available to work for God.

    PS: The final comment actually made me "LOL."